31
Volume 2, Chapter 3
The gray-clothed bandit whispered into the ear of the black-clothed thief, “Senpai, it seems to be rhyming. Could he be our kind?”
“That’s impossible.” The black-clothed bandit spread his arms and uttered seriously, “Would our kind look so poor?”
“That’s true. I thought he drank metamorphism elixir as well…” The gray-clothed bandit nodded.
The black-clothed bandit turned to look at Merlin and played with the brass dagger in his hand: “Young one, hand over all your valuables! Otherwise, don’t blame this uncle for being rude and not even leaving you with underpants! He-he-he~”
Merlin, looking tired, gazed at the two bandits with mixed feelings.
This silence is awkward. In the past, the travelers would scream loudly. Why is the person today so calm? Does he have a screw loose…
Feeling that something is amiss, the gray-clothed bandit whispered: “Senpai, he doesn’t look to be the least bit afraid. What now, do we withdraw?”
“Afraid my ass. Look at him, I bet he’s in a state of confusion due to fear. Watch me rough him up.” The black-clothed bandit objected. It’s not like they haven’t seen people scared silly.
“I see, as expected of senpai!” The gray-clothed bandit spoke in admiration.
The black-clothed bandit turned to glare at Merlin and said, ill humored: “Hey, beggar, scream or something. Show some respect to my occupation, will you? I’m robbing…”
“Eh? Wait a minute, are you robbing me?” Merlin pointed to himself, a stupefied expression on his face.
“Young one, are you retarded? Are the pantyhose on our heads just decorations?” The black-clothed bandit grabbed the skin-colored pantyhose on his head to emphasize his identity.
Merlin frowned, his expression turned queer, and he mused — the hell! This is the first time I am being robbed since I came to this world! Anyway, I am a former Demon Lord, yet I am being robbed by two small-time bandits!? You show me some respect, will you! It’s really as they say, a tiger who lost his footing will be insulted by dogs!
“My friends, I advise you to calm down. A bright future awaits you. You can rob anyone but me.”
“Why can’t we rob you?” The black-clothed bandit rolled his eyes.
“Because if I draw my sword, you might die…” Merlin pushed aside his clothing and assumed a solemn expression.
“Pah!” The black-clothed bandit made a sound of contempt and looked underneath Merlin’s tattered clothing, at a black sword that looks all worn out, “You call that broken branch a sword? I bet it’s a stick to lit fire you found somewhere, right? Don’t think that you can be called a swordsman just because you have something hanging from your waist you. In that case, would I not be called a swordsman due to my little friend between my legs, as well? But, my battlefield is on the bed, he-he-he~”
Hey!
Enough!
This is “Omnia”, a proof of lordship, a symbol of the previous First Demon Lord’s noble status.
Don’t compare it with some smelly thing…
Blue veins popped out on Merlin’s forehead. He is in a rather complicated mood.
“Is that quick draw?” The grey-clothed bandit laughed, thinking that Merlin is a bumpkin, “It’s a basic skill that fools use. Oftentimes, the sword gets stuck in the scabbard and can’t be pulled out. And here I thought he would perform Starburst Stream [1], ha-ha-ha…”
The two bandits burst into laughter, thinking that there are many fools these days, to the point that some even want to show off their quick draw.
“Hey, you’re going too far…” Merlin’s face darkened, feeling angry.
“So what if we are?” Looking like he’s asking for a beating, the black-clothed bandit licked his brass dagger, “Now take out all your money, or else don’t blame us for being rough.”
“I don’t have any money. My pants are made of silk, so they may be worth a few silver coins. But, I haven’t bathed in a few months. Do you still want them?” Merlin scratched his neck, a helpless expression on his face.
With adventurers constantly harassing him due to the bounty, Merlin can’t even have a goodnight sleep. Taking a bath is simply a luxury for him. He’s on guard even when going to the toilet, worried that some contemptible adventurer may launch a surprise attack and poke him in the butthole with a black iron sword.
As a result, Merlin is now trying to earn some money, pay off his debts, and live a peaceful life.
The two bandits aren’t happy with what they heard. After lying in wait for so long, are they going to rob a pair of silk underpants? Unable to accept it, they both assumed an expression of anger —
“Motherfucker!”
[1] – Starburst Stream — this is a Sword Art Online reference
Xaio Mo Ge 