The Unemployed Demon Lord

The Unemployed Demon Lord – 36

Volume 2, Chapter 8

“Un… uncle, I don’t have any money?”

When he saw Merlin, the little boy got scared and almost dropped the lollipop in his hand.

“Un… cle?!”

Merlin creased his eyebrows. He us aware that his appearance is quite lacking. Recently, he hasn’t groomed himself and has grown a beard. He looks quite slovenly.

Could it be that I look like I’m 20?!

He always felt that the appellation “uncle” was unrelated to him. But all of a sudden, a brat called him by this appellation. His ego suffered a blow.

“Little friend, do you know that you just offended the strongest swordsman in the world and may die on the spot?”

“Ah!?” The little boy exclaimed in astonishment, and snot extended down from his nose.

“Hey, wipe away the snot. It’s going to flow into your collar.” Unable to take it, Merlin warned.

The little boy immediately sucked the snot back in with a sniffling sound.

“What’s your name, little friend?” Merlin asked probingly.

“My name is Henry.” The little boy trembled and answered honestly.

“Henry…” Merlin repeated. He assumed a serious expression and uttered, “Listen, Henry. Although you offended me, but since I’m a fairly merciful person, I’ll forgive you for your ignorance. However, this mercy isn’t free. It’s just… two copper coins.”

Although Merlin’s mercy is very cheap, only worth two copper coins, which sounds quite nice. But his expression is fierce! This clearly is robbery!

To not give a break to even a young child, as expected of a shameless, despicable, lustful, and abominable Demon Lord.

For the sake of money, Merlin no longer cares about saving face. As long as he can get money for food, he is willing to steal ladies’ underwear and sell them. However, there should be no nobles in this small village.

Feeling confused and scared, Little Henry said timidly, “I didn’t bring money…”

Merlin narrowed his eyes, thinking that little Henry is lying. Judging by his attire, which looks quite expensive, how can he have no money?

He suddenly thought of “equivalent exchange” that children usually ask for.

“Oh~, I see. Do you want to learn my martial arts?”

“No, I…” Little Henry wanted say something but then hesitated.

“I understand, I understand~” Merlin patted little Henry on the shoulder and said with the tone of an elder, “I didn’t expect such a young child to be greedy. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t teach others. But now I’m quite poor. I can make an exception and teach you a couple of moves.”

Snot extended from little Henry’s nose again. His heart is full of complicated emotions.

“Have you ever heard of palm descending from heaven [1], bah?! This is sword descending from heaven…” Merlin spoke in a profound tone. But in fact, he’s just talking about quick draw.

Little Henry shook his head. Thanks to Merlin’s deception, his interest was piqued.

“It’s called Hasagi [2]!” Merlin continued to deceive, “If you hit the enemy twice at a time, you can release a whirlwind. As long as the enemy is swept by the whirlwind, the ultimate meaning Sorye Ge Ton [3] can be unleashed! Cool, right?”

“It… it sounds so powerful… ” Little Henry’s eyes are full of little stars, completely hoodwinked by Merlin, “But what’s the actual move?”

“Quick draw…” Merlin raised his eyebrows and brazenly spoke the name of a basic skill.

“Tsk…” Little Henry’s attitude changed abruptly, and he uttered disdainfully, “What the heck? Quick draw? It’s a skill that even ordinary martial apprentices disdain to learn. And here I was thinking that it was some impressive sword skill. What a let down.”

Merlin’s forehead was covered with black drooping lines and his brows locked together, looking like he lost his spirit. The sudden shift took him aback.

Hey there!

What’s going on?

How come a naive kid with a runny nose has become so sharp and unkind all of a sudden?!

Even a brat of a different world is looking down on my quick draw?! That’s ridiculous…

((유∀유|||))

[1] – this is the Buddhist Palm from Kung Fu Hustle

[2] – Hasagi, a phrase Yasuo of League of Legends utters when he performs Storm Tempest

[3] – Sorye Ge Ton, a phrase Yasuo of League of Legends utters when he performs Last Breath

The Unemployed Demon Lord – 35

Volume 2, Chapter 7

Although Merlin is broke and has an urge to rob the missionary.

But he’s already in enough trouble as is. If he were to rob the missionary, then he would have to deal not only with those good-for-nothing adventurers, but also the regular imperial army.

If it really came to this, he would have nowhere to stay in Great Britain.

Merlin shook his head and gazed at the bunch of uncultured villagers as they paid one gold coin for a copy of the hardcover bible that should go for a few copper coins, his heart bleeding! He would really like to have a share of that money!

He is helpless regarding this. If he knew beforehand, he would have ransacked a treasury of the Church when he was still a Demon Lord.

As Merlin daydreamed, he arrived at a strip. He wants something to eat, he’s starving.

He took out his cowhide pouch, opened it, turned it upside down, and shook it above his hand.

Not a single copper…

Merlin put on a long face and secretly cursed the evil capitalism for robbing him of his last two copper coins.

“Shit, where can I get some money?”

If possible, Merlin doesn’t want to dine and dash, or else he will never be able to pay his debt.

After contemplated for a while, Merlin looked at the buskers across the market and thought — can’t I make some coppers as a street performer?

Merlin, who never hesitates, acted without delay.

He took out a bowl, which coupled with the shabby stick and the disheveled appearance scream — begging for food!

Merlin breathed in and began to shout in the downtown area —

“Don’t miss this! This humble one just arrived at this noble place and is penniless! This humble one wants to earn his keep with his unique skills! Otakus [1] and fujoshis [2], spare some coins if you can! Cheer on if you can’t spare any money! If you can’t do neither, you can give monthly tickets [3]!”

After Merlin yelled a few sentences, a crowd slowly gathered around him. With looks of curiosity on their faces, the people are wondering what unique skills the beggar in front of them has.

More and more onlookers gathered, forming a noisy wall of people.

When Merlin deemed that there are enough people, he decided to start the performance. He must make those villagers drop their jaw and obediently fork out some money.

“Let’s start~!”

The crowd focused on the stooped Merlin, who looks like he’s gathering strength. They couldn’t help but look forward to it.

“Secret technique: Repetition Side Step [4]!”

Merlin blurred and left behind an afterimage, moving between two points at an amazing speed along with gusts of wind, which stunned the onlookers.

The eyes of the onlookers couldn’t keep up with his speed, and they released cries of surprise, feeling that Merlin’s movement is amazing. They reckon that he must be a warrior.

“How is it? Isn’t it incredible?”

Merlin usually uses Repetition Side Step to exercise his body. When he’s at home and doesn’t want to go out to exercise, he jumps around in his room and “trains”.

A sparkling tear welled up at the corner of Merlin’s eye, and he sighed inwardly — muscle cramps at night are really a bitch. Otherwise, what sick bastard would exercise using Repetition Side Step?

Seeing the enthusiasm of the audience, he accelerated his pace and pushed the atmosphere to a climax.

“Take a look at my acceleration!”

“Ninjutsu [5]: Multiple Shadow Clone Technique!”

Merlin suddenly accelerated, and his figure flashed by, leaving hundreds of afterimages behind in midair. It really looks like he performed a clone technique. However, those are just afterimages produced by his astonishing movement speed.

If there was a cognizant warrior present, they may have knelt on the ground on the spot! It is impossible for a Saint tier to achieve such a speed! To form hundreds of afterimages, this speed is unimaginable!

The ignorant onlookers only felt that the clone technique is amazing. The cold gusts of wind it produces is really exciting. As a result, an enthusiastic applause rose and lasted for a long time.

Feeling that the audience is in the right mood, Merlin picked up the bowl and asked for money.

“Friends, please spare me some money. No matter how…”

When the crowd saw that the performance ended, it began to disperse.

Since the villagers can just leave, why should they pay?

It’s great to watch. But when it comes to paying, that’s a resounding no!

The crowd dispersed, leaving the site in a mess, painting a shabby and bleak scene.

Standing in place, Merlin has an awkward expression on his face.

He diligently put up a show, yet he didn’t receive a single tip! This is outrageous! He worked hard for so long, what for?

However, there is a single audience member left, a little boy dressed quite well with a runny nose. While chewing on a lollipop, he is blankly staring at Merlin.

Perhaps bored, the brat turned around, ready to leave.

The sole audience member that stayed, how could Merlin let him go so easily?

What if it’s a minor? Minors also have to pay for tickets!

Merlin clasped the brat by the head and said with a gloomy smile —

“Hey there, little friend, don’t go…”

“Give me two copper coins for dinner, and I’ll teach you how to become a champion.”

(ー`´ー)

[1] – otaku

[2] – fujoshi

[3] – monthly tickets — this is the author asking for people to vote for his story

[4] – Repetitions Side Step — a reference to Sakamoto Desu Ga?

[5] – ninjutsu

The Unemployed Demon Lord – 34

Volume 2, Chapter 6

Although Merlin has no interest in the Church.

But, since he likes to join in on the fun, he went to take a closer look.

Merlin squeezed to the front of the crowd with difficulty, from where he could easily hear the missionary’s voice.

“Have you ever heard of Lucifer III, the First Demon Lord of the Dead Marshes?”

The villagers began to wag their tongues. They all seem to have heard of him.

“A year ago, the Church’s 100,000-strong army went on a crusade against Lucifer III, yet was wiped out instead! There were no survivors!” The missionary sent his spittle flying.

Merlin contemplated for a moment and mused — didn’t the Hero called Alice survive? What’s with the there were no survivors? Was the butt naked girl captured on the beach by cannibals and taken in as a sex slave?

“It’s said that the First Demon Palace’s Demon Lord is ugly and ferocious-looking.”

“Yes, he’s not only ugly, but lecherous, as well. Apparently, the 233th Hero died while being violated by him. How pitiful.”

The village women gossiped happily.

Bullshit! Who’s ugly?

I have you know, this one is known as the proprietress-killer!

Who are you saying violated that washboard Alice?

Forcing women to do this kind of thing is not my style.

Although she tried to seduce me by getting naked, but I’m not some sex-crazed maniac!

A bunch of old women who know nothing but spread damn rumors…

Merlin rolled his eyes and mused, indignant — after a while, will my image among the villagers be that of a stallion?

“That’s nothing. I heard that he is not only lustful, but is also a lolicon. He especially likes lolis under the age of 12. Reportedly, he keeps a group of lolis for his enjoyment underground the demon palace.” A fat aunty joined in on the gossip.

“Oh my goodness, how scary…” A mother hurriedly hugged her 12-year-old daughter for fear that Lucifer III would appear unexpectedly and take her away.

Give me a break!

I’m not a lolicon!

Underground the demon palace, there are just rocks and more rocks! There is no dungeon!

If I really had a bunch of lolis imprisoned for my enjoyment, then why the hell would I leave the demon palace? Wouldn’t that be nuts?

Merlin’s nose scrunched up from anger. His image seems to get more and more distorted. Although he is no longer a Demon Lord, but he is still unhappy that his past image has been dragged through the mud.

“Lucifer III is very powerful and, in fact, is known as the strongest of the seven Demon Lords. Furthermore, he is really close to Great Britain, just across the sea. If he leads the demon army across the Strait of Orkney and attacks Great Britain, do you think you can survive without the protection of the Goddess of Light?”

Sorry, but I never intended to lead an army across the Strait of Orkney to attack Great Britain…

Merlin shook his head and secretly mocked in his heart — that damn belief of demonkin threat again. It makes it seem like demonkin only exist to rule the world and massacre other races for fun.

But, the villagers didn’t think so. After a few sentences, they were fooled by the missionary and revealed looks of panic.

“So, you need to buy a bible to deepen your faith in the Goddess of Light! It’s just one gold coin! You cannot afford to miss this opportunity! Just one gold coin! What are you waiting for? They are on sale! It’s such a bargain! It’s practically a steal! The hardcover bible, which is usually sold for ten gold coins a copy, now only costs one gold coin!” The missionary screamed wildly in a hoarse voice.

“Buy, buy, buy!” The fooled onlookers fished out a gold coin and rushed to buy a copy of the useless book, painting a hectic scene.

Merlin has a strange look on his face, his brows are tightly furrowed, he is seething with anger, his mind is a mess —

Screw you!

Using my name to boost their sales, shouldn’t the Church pay me royalties?

How much money did those assholes make on the sly? Yet they won’t spare me even 100 gold coins…

(╬￣皿￣)

The Unemployed Demon Lord – 33

Volume 2, Chapter 5

In front of the village’s entrance, which is flanked by a neat fence made of logs, there are two guards dressed in simple armor stationed, collecting toll fees.

Alas, in such a small place, even the guards look poor.

Recalling that the guards of Manchester were dressed like paladins, and their armor could be used as mirror, Merlin shook his head and sighed. Then, he blended into the crowd, intending to sneak into the village without paying the toll.

He put the hood of his ragged clothing on his head and pulled it down, trying to pass unnoticed. Then, as if saying, “don’t mind me”, proceeded to walk ahead.

As a habitual offender, Merlin evaded paying the toll many times in this way.

This may come as a surprise, but big cities do not lack money. When it comes to people who look as wretched as Merlin, the guards generally don’t bother collecting the toll of a few copper coins from them.

But small villages are different. If you don’t have enough money, the toll won’t be pardoned.

“Tch!”

A guard clicked his tongue dissatisfiedly. He has sharp eyes. Every day, he comes across some weasels. At a glance, he can see Merlin stealthily cut in line, trying to sneak into the village.

Thereupon, he grabbed Merlin by the shoulder, not letting him run away.

“What are you doing? I just paid the toll.” Merlin looked back at the guard with an innocent expression, pretending rather well.

“Save it…” The guard crooked his lips and held out his hand, demanding money.

“Wicked capitalist exploiter…” Merlin rolled his eyes and gritted her teeth.

In order not to cause trouble, he reluctantly took out two copper coins from his pouch and threw them into the guard’s hand. Next, like some self-important uncle, he swaggered into the village.

On the other side of the village’s entrance, there is a big market, with many peddlers and buskers in rags.

A melodious rustic orchestral melody floats in the air as the sounds of drums and bagpipes interweave together. It looks like a group of traveling musicians is performing.

“First time here, mr.? Would you like me to introduce you to some interesting shops?”

A few people came up at once. Although they are dressed in rags, but they are good at flattery.

“Oh, that’s not necessary…”

Merlin’s hand froze in midair. Turns out, these people weren’t talking to him. They rushed towards the merchant behind him.

Merlin was really embarrassed, thinking that judging by his shabby attire, he doesn’t look like he has money to spend, and so it is impossible for him to arouse the interest of these “guides”. Thus, he could only scratch his head to resolve the embarrassment.

The “guides” secretly cast Merlin looks of contempt, filled with hostility. They reckoned that the sloppy-looking Merlin is in the same trade as them.

Merlin puckered his lips. He doesn’t like such people very much. They can be found practically everywhere.

In order to earn a commission, they will introduce many shops to outsiders and tell them which girls are attractive.

According to Merlin’s understanding as a transmigrator, this group of people are damn solicitors that introduce nefarious shops where you will often be robbed, bamboozled, caught in a badger game, and so on.

Of course, the person who Merlin finds the most annoying is the one in the center, who is wearing a black robe, has a silver cross hanging from his neck, is holding a bible in his hand, and yells his head off at the ignorant spectators around him.

“Long live the Goddess of Light! Anyone who doesn’t shout is trash! Screw you!”

“What can you do without faith? Anyone without faith is trash! Screw you!”

“Is one gold coin per copy too expensive? Do you believe that they aren’t worth even one gold coin? Anyone who doesn’t buy one is trash! Screw you!”

Everywhere he goes, Merlin can meet such Roman missionaries, who, like idiots, for some reason believe that the Goddess of Light is their mother. Furthermore, they always defame demonkin, proclaiming that demonkin are a threat and must be eliminated.

According to reason, after Merlin stopped being a Demon Lord, the Church has nothing to do with him. However, it is unpleasant to listen to a bunch of missionaries distort the truth.

There is a fitting description in demonkin books, and Merlin remembers it very well —

Humans are vain hypocrites that dumped the truth into the chamber pot a long time ago.

The Unemployed Demon Lord – 32

Volume 2, Chapter 4

“Cut it out, you must have hidden the money!” Unconvinced, the black-clothed bandit’s clamors became more and more severe.

“Right! He must have hidden it! A few days ago, a merchant put gold bars in his rectum! You must have done the same!” The grey-clothed bandit agreed.

Shit! What the hell?

Doesn’t it hurt to put gold bars in your rectum?

If you can’t pull it out when you have to go number two, won’t that be a tragedy?

If that happened, the London Gazette would have a field day, writing — a merchant died after stuffing… up his rectum…

Having no idea what to say, Merlin just smiled, black drooping lines on his forehead.

“Why the hell is he smiling? It looks like you won’t realize how strong we are unless we show you our skills!”

The black-clothed bandit shouted, then performed some acrobatic moves — sweep kick, quick step, and others.

“I’m a Low tier warrior proficient in all kinds of physical arts. With a kick, I can send a raging rhino flying. Scared now?”

“Oh.” Merlin watched the black-clothed bandit flex his muscles.

“Tch! Okay, take a look at my multiple daggers art! I can strike twenty times in a flash.”

The black-clothed bandit was upset when he saw that the expected effect was not achieved.

Thereupon, he took out a red apple from a pocket and threw it into the air. Then, he brandished the brass dagger and peeled the apple cleanly.

“How was it? Now, do you understand how strong I am?!”

“Oh my, not bad, you…” Merlin clapped his hands and secretly swallowed. As he watched the apple in the bandit’s hand, his eyes lit up. He is hungry.

The black-clothed bandit has a gloomy expression on his face, feeling like Merlin is looking down on him.

He threw down the peeled apple. His anger flared up, and he decided to kill Merlin.

Armed with the dagger, the black-clothed bandit operated his auror and attacked at full speed.

With the boost provided by auror, the dagger in his hand flashed coldly and pointed directly at Merlin’s heart.

“Arrogant human! Go to hell!”

“Kill him, senpai!” The grey-clothed bandit cheered on.

“Tsk…” Merlin clicked his tongue lazily and pulled his sword slightly out of the sheath, and then a powerful sword auror erupted!

The two figures passed each other. In just a moment, the fight ended.

“So… so strong…”

The black-clothed bandit muttered to himself, and then his body stiffened, a terrified look on his face.

Merlin shook his head helplessly and sheathed the sword in his hand, and a resonant “kching” sounded.

A conspicuous red line appeared on the black-clothed bandit’s neck. Then, his head slid down sideways, fell on the ground, and rolled towards the grey-clothed bandit’s feet.

A fountain of blood spurted out from the corpse’s neck. Merlin gazed ahead, not bothering to look.

Seeing his senpai‘s severed head by his feet, fear overtook the grey-clothed bandit’s face, he trembled unconsciously, and then tumbled and plopped with his but on the ground —

What the hell!?

Senpai was a Low tier warrior, yet he was instakilled by a strike of the sword!?

How is that possible! Why is such a trashy skill like quick draw so powerful?!

If I didn’t see it wrong, that shabby sword is all rusted and dented. Why is it so sharp then!?

Strong! This beggar is really strong!

The more he thought about it, the more scared the grey-clothed bandit became. He thought that he is dreaming. Then, he felt something warm flow down his legs. He was so scared that he lost control of his bladder and peed himself.

“Alas…” Merlin looked at the grey-clothed bandit, a helpless look on his face. He really doesn’t want to fight small fry. But, since they always jump at him, they should not blame him for being impolite, “Isn’t it good to be alive?”

“Er…”

The gray-clothed bandit halted his breathing, his face lost all color, and a look of horror welled up in his eyes.

His legs turned soft and his heart skipped a beat. But, in order to survive, he drummed up a bit of strength and ran away helter-skelter.

“Wahhhhhhh!”

“Mother! Mother!”

“I’m want to go home! There’s a monster here!”

Merlin smiled wryly, not bothering to pursue. He mused — who is the monster?

However, in the past year, the four or five Saint tier experts he killed all called him a monster before they died.

Merlin thought to himself — I’m just a little stronger. Being called a monster is a bitch much.

The body of the black-clothed bandit lying on the ground suddenly emitted black smoke, and a pungent smell hit him in the face. Startled, Merlin thought that the body will detonate.

It turns out that Merlin was overthinking it. The smoke dispersed without anything happening. But, the body suddenly shrunk by a lot, making the black clothes look quite oversized.

Feeling doubtful, Merlin pulled the stockings off the black-clothed bandit’s head and saw long, sharp ears, a big, sharp nose, green skin…

Goblin!?

Why did it disguise itself as a human bandit?

Merlin frowned and thought of the black smoke and pungent smell from just now. It should be due to drinking a metamorphim elixir that he read about in a book.

But disguise itself as a human to commit banditry?

Was it for fear of being discovered and having its tribe targeted by the imperial army…

Merlin pondered for a while. Then, thinking that this has not relation to him, pretended as if he didn’t see anything.

He kicked the goblin’s head aside. Then, he picked up the peeled apple from the ground, cleaned it with his clothing, and bit down —

“Food should not be wasted…”

While leaning against a broken branch, Merlin staggered towards a village that has smoke rising from it.

Will the lazy-ass hum be be able to find a job there?

The Unemployed Demon Lord – 31

Volume 2, Chapter 3

The gray-clothed bandit whispered into the ear of the black-clothed thief, “Senpai, it seems to be rhyming. Could he be our kind?”

“That’s impossible.” The black-clothed bandit spread his arms and uttered seriously, “Would our kind look so poor?”

“That’s true. I thought he drank metamorphism elixir as well…” The gray-clothed bandit nodded.

The black-clothed bandit turned to look at Merlin and played with the brass dagger in his hand: “Young one, hand over all your valuables! Otherwise, don’t blame this uncle for being rude and not even leaving you with underpants! He-he-he~”

Merlin, looking tired, gazed at the two bandits with mixed feelings.

This silence is awkward. In the past, the travelers would scream loudly. Why is the person today so calm? Does he have a screw loose…

Feeling that something is amiss, the gray-clothed bandit whispered: “Senpai, he doesn’t look to be the least bit afraid. What now, do we withdraw?”

“Afraid my ass. Look at him, I bet he’s in a state of confusion due to fear. Watch me rough him up.” The black-clothed bandit objected. It’s not like they haven’t seen people scared silly.

“I see, as expected of senpai!” The gray-clothed bandit spoke in admiration.

The black-clothed bandit turned to glare at Merlin and said, ill humored: “Hey, beggar, scream or something. Show some respect to my occupation, will you? I’m robbing…”

“Eh? Wait a minute, are you robbing me?” Merlin pointed to himself, a stupefied expression on his face.

“Young one, are you retarded? Are the pantyhose on our heads just decorations?” The black-clothed bandit grabbed the skin-colored pantyhose on his head to emphasize his identity.

Merlin frowned, his expression turned queer, and he mused — the hell! This is the first time I am being robbed since I came to this world! Anyway, I am a former Demon Lord, yet I am being robbed by two small-time bandits!? You show me some respect, will you! It’s really as they say, a tiger who lost his footing will be insulted by dogs!

“My friends, I advise you to calm down. A bright future awaits you. You can rob anyone but me.”

“Why can’t we rob you?” The black-clothed bandit rolled his eyes.

“Because if I draw my sword, you might die…” Merlin pushed aside his clothing and assumed a solemn expression.

“Pah!” The black-clothed bandit made a sound of contempt and looked underneath Merlin’s tattered clothing, at a black sword that looks all worn out, “You call that broken branch a sword? I bet it’s a stick to lit fire you found somewhere, right? Don’t think that you can be called a swordsman just because you have something hanging from your waist you. In that case, would I not be called a swordsman due to my little friend between my legs, as well? But, my battlefield is on the bed, he-he-he~”

Hey!

Enough!

This is “Omnia”, a proof of lordship, a symbol of the previous First Demon Lord’s noble status.

Don’t compare it with some smelly thing…

Blue veins popped out on Merlin’s forehead. He is in a rather complicated mood.

“Is that quick draw?” The grey-clothed bandit laughed, thinking that Merlin is a bumpkin, “It’s a basic skill that fools use. Oftentimes, the sword gets stuck in the scabbard and can’t be pulled out. And here I thought he would perform Starburst Stream [1], ha-ha-ha…”

The two bandits burst into laughter, thinking that there are many fools these days, to the point that some even want to show off their quick draw.

“Hey, you’re going too far…” Merlin’s face darkened, feeling angry.

“So what if we are?” Looking like he’s asking for a beating, the black-clothed bandit licked his brass dagger, “Now take out all your money, or else don’t blame us for being rough.”

“I don’t have any money. My pants are made of silk, so they may be worth a few silver coins. But, I haven’t bathed in a few months. Do you still want them?” Merlin scratched his neck, a helpless expression on his face.

With adventurers constantly harassing him due to the bounty, Merlin can’t even have a goodnight sleep. Taking a bath is simply a luxury for him. He’s on guard even when going to the toilet, worried that some contemptible adventurer may launch a surprise attack and poke him in the butthole with a black iron sword.

As a result, Merlin is now trying to earn some money, pay off his debts, and live a peaceful life.

The two bandits aren’t happy with what they heard. After lying in wait for so long, are they going to rob a pair of silk underpants? Unable to accept it, they both assumed an expression of anger —

“Motherfucker!”

[1] – Starburst Stream — this is a Sword Art Online reference

The Unemployed Demon Lord – 30

Volume 2, Chapter 2

Merlin is quite popular with the ladies. Even though he is slovenly, there is never a shortage of beautiful women around him. He can easily navigate through clusters of flowers.

As a result, Merlin was helpless when the beautiful wives of proprietors came to him in sexy underwear in the middle of the night and talked about sad and emotional topics, recounting the failures of their marriages.

As an incubus, Merlin instinctively tried to comfort these women and pacify their wounded hearts.

He swears that nothing happened, that they just chatted. But all kinds of sex scandals spread nonetheless.

The reason why Merlin was able to keep his carnal desires in check was largely because he has seen a lot of women. He, who is pushing 200 in human years, has already passed the restless age of establishing a harem.

For Merlin, women are sensitive creatures that need to be treated tenderly to heal the wounds in their heart. His creed is —

Never compel a woman to anything, because that is the lowest thing to do.

In this way, Merlin accomplished nothing and accrued a large debt. He spent more than a year idling about and maintaining ambiguous relationships with different women.

Merlin didn’t write to his younger sister Lilith, he chose to keep it to himself. He was afraid that Lilith would see him as a loser and be ashamed of him, afraid that the title “useless older brother” would be set in stone.

What’s more, wouldn’t that basket case Lilith kill those women? It’s best to lose contact…

Merlin felt that life in the First Demon Palace was rough and uncomfortable. But Lilith was right, he was a useless shut-in and was labeled as a pervert and fired in the outside world.

He feels that much like his previous world, the outside world has certain social rules.

For example, in a tavern last month, he heard a group of old mercenaries chatting, saying that the neighboring Soviet Union has organized a giant army, and then someone retorted, saying that Great Britain has a sea fleet.

Merlin sighed inwardly — isn’t that just a show of force, muscle-flexing? It’s exactly the same.

He felt that were it not for the fact that he is proud and disdains shady business like stealing and robbing, he would have already, ptooey, cut down the queen of Great Britain and become the king himself.

Even though Merlin followed the rules of this world, but a bounty was still placed on his head by a bunch of stingy proprietors.

Every day, there are a bunch of rookie adventurers finding trouble with Merlin due to the bounty. But, they end up running away with tails between their legs, all battered.

Merlin doesn’t bother to draw his sword against a bunch of yapping small fries. If it is not a Saint tier master, it is a waste of time.

You’re asking why Merlin didn’t cut down those restaurant proprietors?

As a proud monarch, it would be beneath him to draw his sword and cut down those restaurant proprietors in order not to pay for food. Otherwise, his name might be engraved on the pillar of shame of demonfolk the next day.

His heart’s curse is fine for the time being. In the past year, Merlin slayed four or five Saint tier powerhouses. By relying on them to replenish his life force, he can still be carefree for a while.

At this time, Merlin trudged to Wales in order to sleep around with the wives of the proprietors here… fat chance, ptooey! He came here to rest for a while, find for a job, and take it easy.

Merlin hasn’t eaten for five days already and has no money. The last time he ate, he stole a lamb and roasted it. As a result, he was chased by shepherds with whips for one kilometer.

As Merlin murmured and grumbled about being far away from society and cussed out capitalism for exploiting the rights of shut-ins, two masked bandits suddenly sprang out from both sides of the path and “juggled” daggers.

The black-clothed and grey-clothed bandits laughed eerily. They have waited in ambush all morning before a fool finally came to them to be robbed.

Merlin stopped and asked in surprise, a look of hunger in his eyes, “What are you doing?”

“Humph humph!” The black-clothed bandit answered with a cold smile, “Our master lords over tiger~ [1]!”

Merlin hesitated, and then said probingly —

“Is the fruit of hard labor~ [2]?”

(〟-_・)ﾝ?

[1] – our master lords over tigers — is the first part of a code couplet. The second part is — our pagoda seals river monsters

[2] – is the fruit of hard toil — is an excerpt from a poem

The Unemployed Demon Lord – 29

Volume 2 – Meeting Again

Volume 2, Chapter 1

One year later.

Great Britain, Wales.

A small village located in the outskirts.

At a spot where caravans must pass through, there are two bandits lying in wait behind the thicket, ready to rob any passer-by.

The grey-clothed bandit: “Senpai [1], what now? If we don’t get the money today, the boss will kill us.”

The black-clothed bandit: “Don’t worry, there will be a chance. Those hicks learned their lesson and no longer seem to take this road.”

The grey-clothed bandit: “Then what do we do?”

The black-clothed bandit: “Have some patience, there will be a chance. Perhaps there is some dumbass on his way.”

The grey-clothed bandit: “Eh? There really seems to be someone coming this way.”

The black-clothed bandit: “I’ll be damned, there really is one?”

The grey-clothed bandit: “But he doesn’t seem to have any money. He looks a beggar…”

The black-clothed bandit: “You have much to learn. As the saying goes, don’t judge a book by its cover. Some may appear penniless, but in fact, are well-off bastards.”

The grey-clothed bandit: “Oh! I learned something today, senpai!”

The black-clothed bandit: “Watch me take him down! Even his underpants won’t be spared!”

Following the gazes of the two bandits, on the winding road, a ragged traveler is proceeding towards the village.

He is walking while leaning on a tree branch. With every step he takes, he wheezes and pants, as if he would kick the bucket at any time.

That’s right, the person exuding the air of poverty is no one else but Merlin, the invincible former Demon Lord of the First Demon Palace.

At this time, there are no signs of Merlin’s former glory. Dressed in rags, messy hair, dirty face, he looks like a scavenger or a shoeshiner.

“Fuck…”

“I’m poor, tired, and hungry…”

“The evils of capitalism know no bounds… so petty…”

“Didn’t I just dine and dashed a few times? They actually put a bounty on my head…”

Merlin is now a wanted criminal worth 5,000 gold coins. Furthermore, he was nicknamed as the Loafer Gigolo.

Perhaps most people would think that Merlin’s dine and dashing is nothing much, and that may be normally the case. But he has eaten all across Scotland’s high-end restaurants and even ordered the most expensive dishes.

Irish top-quality foie gras, Arctic caviar, Iberian steak, and so on, every meal costs upwards of 100 gold coins.

As a result, the proprietors of Scotland’s restaurants jointly put a bounty on the head of the loafer Merlin and hung it on the mission boards of various adventurer guilds.

So far, the debts Merlin has accrued totaled upwards of 10,000 gold coins. This awakened the wrath of Scottish people. In the end, Merlin could only escape. He came to Great Britain’s Wales to continue to take it easy.

Do you think that Merlin is a useless and unprincipled trash?

Not a chance! He really tried to pay off his debts.

He worked fifty plus kinds of jobs, from a host in a high-end leisure club, to and a horse groomer. But every time, he was fired due to laziness! Lazing around and skipping work was the norm for Merlin.

Worst of all, he slept with the wives of more than 30 proprietors, angering them. How could he not be fired?

Merlin swears that the last part is a rumor. It wasn’t deliberate. However, those wives kept fancying and seducing him. Consequently, he somehow became a lady-killer.

Don’t forget that Merlin is essentially an incubus. Although he has no incubus abilities, but he still has the corresponding physique and characteristics. From aunties in their thirties to twelve-year-old lolis who just blossomed, he can virtually sweep the deck.

As long as you interact with Merlin for an extensive period of time, you will have a good impression of him.

Additionally, since incubi are quite handsome, if women look at him for an extensive period of time, they will find him fascinating —

He’s strong and handsome.

The only shortcoming is that he’s poor…

[1] – senpai

The Unemployed Demon Lord – 28

“Take off the clothing~” Merlin raised his eyebrows, looking like is about to molest Alice.

“Does… does it really have to be like this?”

Alice bit her trembling lower lip, her face paled, and her eyes filled with humiliation and unwillingness.

“Hurry up and take it off. Don’t make me get rough. After all, I am a gentleman.”

An expressionless look on his face, his hand on the hilt of the sword, Merlin looks like he will perform quick draw at any time.

“Uwuu…”

Alice released a cry of sorrow from the depths of her throat. She didn’t expect that such a thing would happen to her.

It seems that this sex-crazed maniac really doesn’t want to let me go! I didn’t expect there to be such a disgusting guy in the world!

Not only did he treat me as a laborer, but he still wants to humiliate me!

She covered her chest with her hands, and her face flushed, looking both ashamed and angry.

Alice raised her head and peeked at Merlin. Although his face is expressionless, but in her eyes, it became dreadful and obscene.

The poor Alice seems to have foreseen her ending, and sparkling tears appeared in her eyes.

If I had know that this would happen, I wouldn’t have become some rubbish Hero and found myself in such a humiliating situation…

Merlin frowned and tilted his head, and his head filled with question marks.

Under duress, Alice got down to business.

She removed the white silk cloak with the Church’s insignia, took off the expensive mithril armor, and untied the gauze-like undergarments.

She even folded the pink panties and placed them on top.

The fair skin emits a gloss under the sunlight, the delicate curves are picturesque, the silver hair cascades down like a waterfall, yet the chest is as flat as a washboard…

Alice is kneel-sitting on the beach, her cheeks painted in a fascinating, alluring red. She is shivering due to the slightly salty sea breeze.

Looking at the naked Alice, Merlin was dumbfounded, thinking — I’m here committing robbery, so how come it suddenly turned into sexual assault? Dammit! I’m an honorable person!

“Hey, I meant for you to take off your armor! Why have you stripped naked? Isn’t it cold?”

Alice opened her eyes and asked blankly, “Aren’t you going… going to disgrace me?”

“Fuck!” Merlin frowned, and black drooping lines ran down his forehead, “Are you famished for a man since no one want’s you? What’s in your head? Aren’t you ashamed? And you’re a Hero? If your Hero predecessors saw you right now, they’d turn in their graves!”

“Ugh…” Alice flushed, a dull look on her face. She mused — did I misunderstand things? Merlin didn’t even think about pushing me down…

“Oh~!” Merlin suddenly had a realization and whispered, “How come you have such a dirty mind…”

“I don’t! I…” Alice blushed and wanted to explain.

“Okay, okay! No need to explain…” Merlin interrupted Alice and said contemptuously —

“Take a good look at that shabby washboard of yours, do you seriously think that it could arouse me?”

“In any case, come back once your chest is bigger. It’s useless for you to try to seduce me now. Regarding this, I can only say…”

“You washboard Hero are really shameless!”

Alice turned pale in an instant, as if she suffered 10,000 points of spirit damage. Her soul responded to the call of the Goddess of Light and began to leave her body.

She feels like she lost her life’s dream and resigned herself to spend her life as a good-for-nothing…

“Oh, right, a washboard has its advantages. It saves material cost when making clothes.” Merlin picked up the mithril armor and left. His laughter came from a distance, “Washboard, washboard, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha…”

After a long time —

Alice kneeling on the beach looks like she lost her soul. Her mind is a mess.

Today is her Good Friday [1], the day she experience a great humiliation and began to doubt her life.

Alice’s face began to scrunch up, and then she finally burst into tears. Loud crying sounded on the deserted beach —

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!”

“Merlin, you shameless asshole!”

“I don’t want to see you ever gain!”

( >﹏<。)

The feeling of a flag [2] pervaded the air at once…

End of Volume 1 – Crusade

[1] – Good Friday is supposedly the day Jesus was crucified. In other words, the author likens the shame and humiliation that Alice suffered to a crucifixion

[2] – flag is an event or occurrence that signifies something will happen later on in the story

The Unemployed Demon Lord – 27

Alice closed her mouth shut and, with an expression of humiliation on her face, nearly burst into tears.

“This… this is the territory of Great Britain! It’s the northern coastline of England!”

Alice didn’t go to the port of Bristol because it is too far. She would have died from exhaustion otherwise. As such, she chose a deserted place in the northernmost part of England to go ashore.

“Why can’t I see anyone?” Merlin frowned, feeling strange. He thought that he would be able to see gentlemen in formal hats and tuxedos, or ladies with umbrellas and luxurious dresses, “I’m warning you, do not lie to me. I read a lot of books. ”

“It’s really Great Britain, I’m not lying to you! This is the northernmost part. Since the climate here is unstable, no city has been built…” Alice explained frantically, feeling a headache.

“I see…” Merlin muttered. He plans to tour the legendary empire on which the sun never sets, “Seeing as you worked so hard, I’ll compliment you for that.”

“I don’t need your compliment!” Alice responded angrily, gnashing her teeth.

Merlin smiled, waved his hand, and said, “See you! It was really a pleasant sea trip~!”

Pleasant my ass!

Get lost! You wretched Demon Lord!

One day, I’ll chop your head off!

Alice bit her lower lip and thought resentfully. Her hatred for Merlin is as high as that for cockroaches, to the point where they cannot coexist.

Merlin took two steps, and then stopped abruptly, an alarmed look on his face.

He thought of a very serious problem — he didn’t brought any money!

As a transmigrator, Merlin knows that it is hard to move about in society without money.

Do I have to plunder a national treasury, or rob caravans?

With his identity as a monarch of the demonfolk, Merlin is proud and disdains shady business such as stealing and robbery.

Furthermore, once he commits a vile act, he will be wanted by the empire. By then, he won’t be able to lead an easy life peacefully. There will be droves of reckless adventurers coming to harass him for the bounty.

Even though he is now a demonfolk and not a human, but he still needs to uphold the most basic moral values. This is the essential difference between people and animals.

Just because this is a different world, it doesn’t meant that you can do whatever you want, that you can behave like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Although Merlin upholds the basic moral values, but that is only limited to ordinary people and friends.

When it comes to enemies… of course you have to do whatever you want! What is the hell is there still to hesitate!?

Eyes sparkling, Merlin looked at Alice resting on her knees behind him.

I am a Demon Lord, she is a Hero — this is a proper hostile relationship. It seems that I have to be unscrupulous and milk Alice dry, so as to facilitate my life in Great Britain.

Merlin’s gaze wandered over Alice’s body, and then focused on the white mithril armor, which has a silver sheen and is covered with magic defensive runes.

This is not an ordinary armor, but a first-class product! It’s darn valuable!

If I get my hands of Alice’s mithril armor, I should be able to get a hefty price for it! That’s right, I should rob her!

Merlin coughed lightly, walked up to Alice, touched her chin, and smiled dissolutely, “Beautiful lady, I need you to offer your precious thing, he-he-he~”

“What… what are you up to!?” Alice covered her chest and recoiled, thinking —

My precious thing — is it my virginity?

∑(°口°๑)❢❢